Many people give up on sex after 50 because of the changes they experience in their bodies and the emotions they feel as the old certainties are left behind. Other people don’t know how to deal with the sexual difficulties and challenges that can come thick and fast at this time of life. But you don’t have to struggle alone, wondering how to cope.
I’m a qualified sex therapist and, being over 50 myself, I know just what all these sexual changes can mean to men and women. So I’ve written a comprehensive website to help men and women cope with the natural changes that occur in our sexuality and sexual expression – including sexual problems – after fifty years of age.
If you’re a woman, your menopause may produce lowered libido, vaginal dryness, and discomfort during intercourse. And there can be some big personal changes to cope with as well, as you move from being a fertile woman to a woman whose reproductive life is behind her. And yet this time of life can be one of the most liberating changes you ever experience….
For men, the experience of less urgent sexual desire, some level of erection difficulties, loss of sexual confidence, and perhaps even an emotional or midlife crisis, after 50 years of age can make it seem safer not to have sex at all. you enjoy your powerful male sexuality, just as you always have - when you know what’s happening, and what to do about it.
The truth is that if you know how to deal with all these changes in your sexuality after 50, you can actually enjoy the best sex you’ve ever had. Yes, mature sex can be great sex – you just need to have the strategies and tools to deal with the changes you’re going through…and that includes ways to communicate your feelings and experiences to your partner so that your relationship is strong and safe. out how all this can happen for YOU! Click on this link to go to my powerful program "Sex After 50" NOW!
Regrettably, the simple truth is that men are less healthy than women by almost any measure. For example, simple life expectancy among men is five years shorter than women (at least in the United States).
Furthermore, about twice as many men as women die from heart attacks every single year. And regrettably it’s also true that other major diseases such as stroke, lung disease, and diabetes are all higher for men. One of the reasons for this is that men do not take adequate care of themselves in the way that women do, and they probably also don’t have the attitudes that will prevent disease occurring in the first place.
It’s a well-known fact, for example, that men make half as many visits to their doctors compared to women.
The most obvious point in a man’s life at which this becomes a potential problem is after 50 years of age. This is the time when a man can actually make a real difference to his health by the way he eats and exercises, and by taking some other simple steps to maintain good health. Perhaps the reason that men don’t do this is because we’re actually in denial about how well (or not) we are, and perhaps also we’ve been “trained” to look after ourselves without sharing our problems.
It’s also common for men to be brought up in a way that emphasizes the value of “strength”. This may mean that men regard being ill, or even having a disease, as a sign of weakness or failure. If you were to reflect for a moment on how you see a heart attack, just what assumptions come to mind — do you think that a man who has a heart attack is weak or strong?
Of course the problem is that the attitude men have toward their health is actually one of the main reasons why so many illnesses affect men so much more than women.
Things like erectile dysfunction have a massive amount of shame attached to them, and it’s hardly surprising that the condition is so much less talked about than premature ejaculation, which tends to be a condition experienced by younger men. Erectile dysfunction is actually quite a good measure of several other conditions, including high blood pressure and cholesterol level.
The fact is, men generally get some indication that their arteries are “furring up” on average almost 2 years before they have a first heart attack: that’s when ED first appears. Any man who suffers from erectile dysfunction must have a cholesterol and blood pressure check and receive treatment for these conditions if they are dangerously high.
Furthermore, blood sugar levels are a monitor of diabetes, and should be checked annually after 50 years of age. Diabetes is a problem that can lead to all kinds of health problems including blindness, loss of erectile capacity, and frequent infections in men from yeast or Candida albicans, otherwise known as yeast infections.
It’s also important for men to have testosterone checks because the reality is that testosterone declines after 50, and it actually is the crucial factor behind a man’s emotional and sexual drive, his energy level, his bone density, and his muscle strength.
Reports suggest that at least 10 million men in the United States have testosterone levels lower than they need to be for good health, causing depression, decreased sex drive, reduced bone density, loss of muscle tissue and increased fat deposition.
The loss of testosterone may be so insidious & pervasive that it actually shortens your life. This website propagates a view which I wholeheartedly support, which is that there is absolutely no reason why a man should go through life with the considerable disadvantage of having testosterone levels below normal. As the author indicates, testosterone therapy is not about hormone it’s about testosterone therapy, in an attempt to maintain the appropriate levels of male hormones.
There are many ways in which the male hormone levels can be maintained, including injection or patches, none of which are associated with the undesirable side-effects of early testosterone treatments.
Another indicator of male health, in particular of male sexual health, is prostate specific antigen or PSA level. The relationship between testosterone prostate enlargement is unclear, but prostate enlargement seems to occur after the age of 50, and one wonders whether it’s an entirely incidental finding that testosterone levels decline at the same time.
Be this as it may, prostate specific antigen is a rough indicator for trouble – meaning cancer – in the prostate. More accurately, it is an indicator of cancer when it rises dramatically over a period of time. The absolute level of prostate specific antigen that you’re experiencing is not necessarily an indicator of difficulty, but considerable increases over time may be.
There are plenty of alternative remedies for prostate enlargement, as well as medical treatments involving a greater or lesser degree of intervention. I would suggest that any man who is facing prostate issues ensures that he’s fully informed about the options available to him, since surgery should always be a last option, involving, as it does, loss of sexual function to a greater or lesser degree.
Alongside all the issues of sexual behavior and function, there are many other common-or-garden complaints that go with age including rheumatoid arthritis, gout (click here), gallstones (click here), and other problems that we would commonly associate with aging.
To the degree that we are able to change our behavior by taking more exercise and enjoying a diet that is actually more likely to maintain our health, we do have some influence over how well (or ill) we feel as we grow old. And it’s absolutely essential that we pay attention to this, because health issues become much more important as we grow older. One of the key things is maintaining your awareness of the possible signs of illness, and having regular screening tests for the various types of cancer that are most common – prostate cancer and bowel cancer in particular.
This affects around one in 20 men at the age of 40, and perhaps as many as one in 5 at the age of 65. The truth is, we don’t actually know how may men suffer from it, because there’s so much shame attached to erectile dysfunction — far more than there is to rapid ejaculation (find out how to control PE here).
However, anything that interferes with the blood flow to the penis can cause erectile dysfunction, and since these conditions increasing frequency with age, it’s no surprise that erectile dysfunction also does. Causes can be as diverse as diabetes, kidney disease, alcoholism, multiple sclerosis, cardiovascular disease, and emotional issues. Low testosterone is also a cause of loss of sex drive erectile function.
The amazing statistic is that one man in five actually dies from heart disease before they reach the age of 75. This is actually the biggest killer of men – and it runs in families, which means that if previous members of your family have died of heart disease you may be at greater risk.
As you probably already know, the risk factors for heart disease include being overweight, not taking enough exercise, having too much stress in your life, and in particular high levels of saturated fat and smoking. High blood pressure is the most important risk factor, and so if your BP has been high for a long time it is essential that you get some treatment from a qualified medical practitioner.
Although I mentioned some of the problems that occur with age above, it’s worth just reiterating the major issues associated with ageing in men. Low testosterone can cause hot flashes and mood swings, rather like the menopause in women. And certainly the tiredness and loss of energy associated with low testosterone can lead to lower levels of physical activity which in turn are insufficient to maintain muscle mass of the body.
If testosterone levels are much too low, causing a depressed mood, it’s also possible that a man may eat too much in compensation. Naturally enough, this causes an increase in body mass index as he lays down fat. Other symptoms of ageing in men, which are perhaps more specifically a symptom of testosterone deficiency, include dry and thin skin, increased sweating, loss of concentration and irritability, and loss of enthusiasm for life.
Apart from testosterone, these symptoms can be caused by anemia, thyroid problems, stressful situations in life, financial problems and alcohol misuse. Sex After 50 Can Be As Good As Ever
Men: even if you’ve already stopped having sex after 50, you can start again and enjoy a great sex life, but you have to make up your mind to change things. It’s never too late to improve your sex life, and it’s not hard to do so, though to have a successful sex life after 50 requires a little patience and perseverance.
First of all, you have to adapt yourself to the changes that occur at and after 50 years of age. Sex is one of the main areas of change, of course. But it’s not just sex – in other areas too, you have to accept that you simply cannot do all the things that you were once able to do, because the body with which you did them is naturally aging.
This may or may not mean adopting some lifestyle changes such as taking time to maintain your fitness, or even getting some medical treatment – like male hormone replacement therapy – to ensure sex beyond 50 continues to be as enjoyable as in your 30s and 40s.
Of course, attention to fitness and self-care will mean that you can maintain a good level of health, both physical and sexual after 50 years of age – or whatever age you take as the symbol of midlife for you.
A man who, in his younger days, enjoyed sex and made love frequently, may get into a bit of a panic when he suddenly realizes that, beyond fifty or so, he wants sex much less often.
“Wants” is the important word here. A reduced sex drive makes him want sex less often after 50 – but when he does have sex, his pleasure is just as great as always. If you’re a man who’s made the discovery you want sex much less often, there’s no reason to panic; indeed, worrying that you’re on the verge of impotence may actually make you impotent.
Yet the fact that you are making love less often doesn’t mean your orgasms are going to be any less satisfying. Sex techniques can be just as exciting and interesting as they were when you were young.
No matter how quickly you have been able to get an erection when you were younger, you will almost certainly find your erections come more slowly, after 50. (Usually sometime between forty-five and sixty.) Getting an erection may require physical stimulation: and even if your partner is skilful in caressing your penis, you may still respond much more slowly. Don’t worry how long it may take to become fully erect; the main thing is to have an erection, and you may get anxious and find it even harder to become erect if you begin to worry about this change.
In addition you may find that your sex drive declines after 50 and you may find along with this there are some emotional changes. The decline in testosterone with age that occurs naturally in men is responsible for many of the changes in a man’s sexuality with age.
This change can produce some major effects – lowered sex drive, loss of erection, loss of motivation, enthusiasm and drive, and loss of your sense of purpose in life, as well as emotional issues such as irritability and depression.
These physical changes are called the andropause, and the emotional issues make up what is called the male midlife crisis. On the “Sex After 50″ eBook available on this website, I discuss the reasons why these physical and emotional changes may happen. You can find this information here.
You may or may not choose to get treatment for the male midlife crisis or the andropause, but in either case, being able to describe what is going on in your mind and body, put a name to it, and fully understand it, will make it much easier to deal with.
Of course the other major change that takes place for men at this age is a tendency to have problems with getting an erection. So another major topic on this website is erectile dysfunction, its causes and cures – and of course, the related question of whether or not Viagra may be helpful.
My eBook has full information on erectile dysfunction, loss of erection and erection problems here, and information on erectile dysfunction and, most importantly, how you can treat it at home . There’s a detailed discussion of how Viagra may or may not be helpful for you after 50, as well.
And since you are likely to be with a woman who is going through the menopause, there is lots of information about sex after 50 for women which you might find interesting to read – it will give you more of an insight into how women see male sexuality in general and erection problems in particular.
A third area of difficulty can be your relationship, which, perhaps built on the foundations of sex in your 20′s, 30′s, or 40′s, can suddenly be subjected to all kinds of pressures and tensions which you don’t know how to deal with. To help you both through this, it’s important that you understand how the aging process can affect your female partner, sexually and in other ways, so you know what’s going on for her.
So there’s a lot of background information about how the menopause affects women in the eBook “Sex After 50″.
Needless to say, the key to understanding change is knowing what’s happening and why – and getting good information can help you with that. But you still need to be able to talk about it with your partner – and that might be a new experience. That’s why I’ve included a section on talking in your relationship, to ensure the lines of communication are kept open.
When you find out how to explain what’s going on for each other here, you’ll find that you understand each other’s points of view, which means you have a much better chance of maintaining harmony and staying together in a great relationship with great sex after fifty – and beyond….. One of the hardest things, I think, for men and women to accept is that changes inevitably take place with age.
We live in a culture where we’re surrounded by millions of images of youthful men and women, and in some way these images affect us all. It’s probably true to say that older people don’t get the respect they deserve in modern society – a bit of an irony, considering that we’re all going to grow old. That means it’s up to us to demonstrate that elderhood is a glorious state of being! (Sexually, and in every other way.)
And since our society is so sex-oriented, one area in particular where people in midlife can feel they’re at a disadvantage is sex and relationships.
But I want to prove to you that sex after 50 can actually be the best sex of your life: you’ve gained a whole load of experience of life, you’re probably not trying to prove anything to yourself, you may or may not be in a settled relationship, but you certainly have plenty of experience behind you, and that’s a powerful recipe for knowing exactly what you want from sex after 50.
If you’re still not convinced, read on, and you’ll probably soon agree with me that sex after 50 is just about the best sex you can have!
Oh, and by the way, I’m over 50 myself, and I’m enjoying sex now more than I ever did. Even allowing for the rampant, fervent excitement of sex in my 20s, the experimentation of sex in my 30s, and the steady, powerful and familiar sex in my 40s, sex after fifty has been more joyous and enjoyable than I ever expected. It’s my goal to prove that can be true for you too, even if you don’t believe it at the moment.