Men: even if you’ve already stopped having sex after 50, you can start again and enjoy a great sex life, but you have to make up your mind to change things. It’s never too late to improve your sex life, and it’s not hard to do so, though to have a successful sex life after 50 requires a little patience and perseverance.
First of all, you have to adapt yourself to the changes that occur at and after 50 years of age. Sex is one of the main areas of change, of course. But it’s not just sex – in other areas too, you have to accept that you simply cannot do all the things that you were once able to do, because the body with which you did them is naturally aging. This may or may not mean adopting some lifestyle changes such as taking time to maintain your fitness, or even getting some medical treatment – like male hormone replacement therapy – to ensure sex beyond 50 continues to be as enjoyable as in your 30s and 40s.
Of course, attention to fitness and self-care will mean that you can maintain a good level of health, both physical and sexual after 50 years of age – or whatever age you take as the symbol of midlife for you.
A man who, in his younger days, enjoyed sex and made love frequently, may get into a bit of a panic when he suddenly realizes that, beyond fifty or so, he wants sex much less often. “Wants” is the important word here. A reduced sex drive makes him want sex less often after 50 – but when he does have sex, his pleasure is just as great as always. If you’re a man who’s made the discovery you want sex much less often, there’s no reason to panic; indeed, worrying that you’re on the verge of impotence may actually make you impotent. Yet the fact that you are making love less often doesn’t mean your orgasms are going to be any less satisfying.
No matter how quickly you have been able to get an erection when you were younger, you will almost certainly find your erections come more slowly, after 50. (Usually sometime between forty-five and sixty.) Getting an erection may require physical stimulation: and even if your partner is skilful in caressing your penis, you may still respond much more slowly. Don’t worry how long it may take to become fully erect; the main thing is to have an erection, and you may get anxious and find it even harder to become erect if you begin to worry about this change.
In addition you may find that your sex drive declines after 50 and you may find along with this there are some emotional changes. The decline in testosterone with age that occurs naturally in men is responsible for many of the changes in a man’s sexuality with age. This change can produce some major effects – lowered sex drive, loss of erection, loss of motivation, enthusiasm and drive, and loss of your sense of purpose in life, as well as emotional issues such as irritability and depression.
These physical changes are called the andropause, and the emotional issues make up what is called the male midlife crisis. On the “Sex After 50″ eBook available on this website, I discuss the reasons why these physical and emotional changes may happen. You can find this information here.
You may or may not choose to get treatment for the male midlife crisis or the andropause, but in either case, being able to describe what is going on in your mind and body, put a name to it, and fully understand it, will make it much easier to deal with.
Of course the other major change that takes place for men at this age is a tendency to have problems with getting an erection. So another major topic on this website is erectile dysfunction, its causes and cures – and of course, the related question of whether or not Viagra may be helpful. My eBook has full information on erectile dysfunction, loss of erection and erection problems here, and information on erectile dysfunction and, most importantly, how you can treat it at home . There’s a detailed discussion of how Viagra may or may not be helpful for you after 50, as well.
And since you are likely to be with a woman who is going through the menopause, there is lots of information about sex after 50 for women which you might find interesting to read – it will give you more of an insight into how women see male sexuality in general and erection problems in particular.
A third area of difficulty can be your relationship, which, perhaps built on the foundations of sex in your 20′s, 30′s, or 40′s, can suddenly be subjected to all kinds of pressures and tensions which you don’t know how to deal with. To help you both through this, it’s important that you understand how the aging process can affect your female partner, sexually and in other ways, so you know what’s going on for her.
So there’s a lot of background information about how the menopause affects women in the eBook “Sex After 50″.
Needless to say, the key to understanding change is knowing what’s happening and why – and getting good information can help you with that. But you still need to be able to talk about it with your partner – and that might be a new experience. That’s why I’ve included a section on talking in your relationship, to ensure the lines of communication are kept open.
When you find out how to explain what’s going on for each other here, you’ll find that you understand each other’s points of view, which means you have a much better chance of maintaining harmony and staying together in a great relationship with great sex after fifty – and beyond…..